• 10.
    Just another reminder to have something ready for the "I'm thankful for..." part of the day. "Not being on fire" will not be met with smiles; we know.
  • 9.
    Imagine if all of your relatives were dolls, and not just your common law wife. You'd get all the turkey you want, and only slightly more mind-bending despair.
  • 8.
    It's heartwarming to see lottery tickets do something for somebody ever.
  • 7.
    We have discovered a way around the problem of freeloading relatives: Be the least successful member of your entire family.
  • 6.
    The lesson here is to never discuss anything with your parents. Oh, and to not force gas before it's ready. Oh, and to not marry an imbecile.
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