• 10.
    Nine eleven. Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven. Nine? Eleven. NINE! Eleven nine eleven. Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine? Eleven! Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven.
  • 9.
    Actually, most high school students wouldn't mind voting for a prostitute for student body president. That sounds like the plot to every teen movie made from 1997 to 2002.
  • 8.
    Maybe someday in real life, we'll have a president who offers to resign if he recognizes that he's a terrible leader and never should have been elected in the first place. Maybe someday we'll also get that pony.
  • 7.
    Franklin Roosevelt said "we have nothing to fear but fear itself." Ronald Reagan told Gorbachev to "tear down this wall." Xander Crews said "big-ass double-Ds for everyone." Reagan and Roosevelt were pussies.
  • 6.
    Most politicians aren't totally metal, which means they have to lie about not wanting to take all your money, kill all your neighbors, and have sex with your grandmother.
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