• 5.
    Does it count as a full moon if it's covered in hair?
  • 4.
    This is easily the most impressionable window washer ever to grab a squeegee.
  • 3.
    At the halfway mark of this clip, it becomes apparent that bloody nips is not the most pressing issue for this young man. It's not even the most pressing nipple-related issue.
  • 2.
    Ah, memories.
  • 1.
    We live by a couple of very simple rules: never play cards with a man whose first name is a city, and never let mermaid hookers you just met swim into your penis.