• 5.
    Sadly, since Crewes was never put into office, the Roxanne Wars will continue to be an unresolved quagmire.
  • 4.
    GI Joe as an entity may have been around since the 40's but it took a healthy dose of manic 80's zeitgeist and Sergeant Slaughter to bring out the ground-shaking absurdity of the military-meets-the-village-people approach.
  • 3.
    80's icon Patrick Swayze taught us that tough guys could also be professional dancers and cross-dressers. This was about as helpful as the overcome-bullying-with-a-giant-flying-dog lesson.
  • 2.
    Did you know Dirk Benedict had his own aerobics video? Do you know who Dirk Benedict is? Man, writing this list has not been a feather in the feeling-youthful cap.
  • 1.
    "The heart of rock n’ roll is still beating... thanks to the heroic efforts of the guy who found the body next to the dumpster."